Step One Toward a Failed Marriage

Step One Toward a Failed Marriage
by Lori Lipsky

Let’s get wed, Dunderhead
And you can call me Dolt or Swine
None of this Dear or Sweetheart trash
Moron suits you just fine.

Let’s not wax sentimental
Sappy names annoy and grow old
Rather than Darling or Honey
You'll be my Ugly Slime Mold.


14 thoughts on “Step One Toward a Failed Marriage

  1. I read somewhere that the subconscious can’t take a joke. This explains why someone can give you a compliment in a totally sarcastic tone, and you feel great anyway–and why when someone calls you “ugly” but doesn’t mean it, deep down you’re sad. So you’ve struck a deep chord here, Lori. Let’s be nice!

  2. My dear husband has addressed me almost exclusively as “Soo-eee.” I’ve chosen to believe that, having grown up in the city, he’s unaware of the purpose of that term on the farm. 😉

    • That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard from you. Of course I’d have to hear his tone of voice, but I’m guessing he says it like Su(s)ie.

      My dad wanted to name me Susan, but my mom wouldn’t have it. I grew up with him always calling me Susie-Q. Loved that.

  3. So fun, and not doggerel-ish at all. I call all my guys ‘love’ or ‘honey’. It was easier than remembering their names 🙂

    • We get confused around here with all the dears. I’m not creative with the names, so just copy “dear” from Mark, and then call the girls that sometimes, too, just ’cause I’ve not been creative or purposeful. I wonder if it’s too late to try something new?

  4. Fun poem, with a point. I called my baby boys “pumpkin”, but had to drop it as they got older. Mark has always been “Sweetheart” to me. I think Robin’s comment is fascinating.

  5. This was so cute! “Sue Pew” fits it the dolt category. That was my sisters nick name for me. “Al Pal” was my brother’s. I guess we know who she liked better at least for a while. I love rhyming poems!

  6. I’ve been called al sorts of names in the past!……. what’s in a name?…… personality counts for sure!….;)

    • Andy, Thanks for stopping over to check out my blog. Congratulations on the “Freshly Pressed” thing. It’s well deserved. Your photos are beautiful.

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