27 thoughts on “The Waiter

    • Thanks, Robin. For now, when we have lunch together, we’ll just use straws and pretend that fixes everything. I’d hate for us to be holding in a bunch of screams.

  1. Well, I just had to laugh when I read this poem. Just yesterday I stopped at a local store to buy some deli meat – the guy went from the cash register to the deli, touched the raw meat, thinking I wanted that kind of roast beef. After correcting him, that I wanted deli roast beef, he did wash his hands – under running water… for about 3 seconds…. without soap. COME ON! then he sliced it, letting it fall into his hand. Okay, I paid for the stuff, knowing I was just going to throw it away when I got home… I drove down the road, turned around and went straight back and asked for a re-do! I’ve never done that before – but seeing as I just paid $15 for the stuff I wasn’t going to eat… Well, anyways, it wasn’t one of my finer moments, but somehow I know you’ll understand.
    Sigh.
    This is Sue gone really bad.

    • I do understand and I applaud your courage for saying something. It’s hard to do and I’m a coward. Doubly interesting because I worked for a deli every summer through college. I wonder if I was as conscientious back then? Probably not, but I do remember we were trained to wash our hands a lot.

      • It seems like it’s set as a standard – and when it falls this far short? Just makes me wonder. Well, back to what I should’ve said in the beginning – I loved this little snippet – how amazing that you sparked so much from so few words. Jane Austen could’ve learned a lot from Miss Lori Lipsky!

        • Thanks for your kind words about my “Snippet.” Snippet–I like it.

          If Jane Austen had spent hours on four-line snippets and brief eight-liners, we’d never be able to read and reread Pride and Prejudice, then watch the 6-hour BBC movie with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. And of course, Sense and Sensibility (the book and Emma Thompson/Hugh Grant/Kate Winslet; Persuasion…that wouldn’t do! I hope you love Jane Austen, too?

          Time to go fix lunch, but first the washing of the hands. 😀

        • ah – Jane Austen. What’s not to love? Have you seen the movie “Lost in Austen?” I just rented it and watched it twice! A fan of Austen gets swept up in the story Pride and Prejudice as it unfolds – and messes up the story. It’s done so well – and funny and wonderful! I am, in fact, watching that very Sense and Sensibility tonight. What a small danged world! Hope you enjoyed lunch – I’ll dine at your place any day my friend!

        • I love Jane Austen! Have you seen the movie “Lost in Austen?” I just watched it twice! This woman who loves the story Pride and Prejudice gets swept up in the story as it’s unfolding and mucks everything up. What a delightful movie – and if you haven’t seen it, well, then you should! I’m watching Sense and Sensibility tonight! What a small danged world!

  2. This is one of those groan/laugh type of poems.
    Maybe it should be posted in restaurant kitchens across the nation.
    Thank you for the straw tip, and the laugh (groan)

  3. Yikes! And maybe I’ll sound crazy… but how about when a waiter fills your glass with the pitcher and then goes on to the next glass, and the next, touching the rims of all of them!!

  4. You made me laugh out loud on this one, Lori! Glad to see that I am not the only one to notice such things. I try to not be a germophobe, but some things just make me shudder! 😀

    • There’s a fine line between good hygiene and the other. I like to think I’m hovering on the mentally healthy side of things. 🙂 Thanks, Rebeca.

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